Rector's Ramblings

Wonderful story from one of my congregation who went on pilgrimage to Mejdugorje with a member of the local evangelical church in Dumbarton. My dynamic duo were lucky enough to have this wonderful spiritual experience where they not only had a "vision" of the Blessed Virgin, but could smell the roses, as they tell it, despite the absence of any floral tributes!

On returning to their base, heavily populated by Irish Roman Catholics, they told of their experience. A Catholic priest was quite miffed. "How can you have seen Our Lady?", he retorted. "You're f** protestants."

As we are wont to say in Scotland, "Oor Lady, Your Lady, A'body's Lady"!

OK then.... here's a photo from the latest Parish Evening of Madness! Lots of folk playing Bingo in decorated straw hats for prizes that included strawberries and cream and much much more! We even raised £80 in the process! See St Augustine's? See down-to-earth spirituality?

After the "Straw Hat Bingo", (don't ask!), on Friday night, we decided to go for a bit of sanity at The Rectory on Sunday afternoon and organised a barbeque for Sunday lunch!

The thing is that Shadrach, one of our congregation and a refugee from Burundi, has at last, after five years, been given permission to have his children come to live with him in Scotland. Problem is the air fares now! Shadrach is a full-time student and finances his education from working in a low-paid part-time job, working all the unsocial hours under the sun to pay for his education and the weekly bills too! No DSS for this proud man!

A few really gifted musical folk have decided to do a concert fundraiser in St Auggie's soon, and so we invited the musicians and their cronies to lunch in the garden. It rained buckets!

However, with an expert accordianist, Izzy, and two African drums, two guitars and a host of good voices, the afternoon proceeded to become an extended ceilidh, with jokes and songs becoming raunchier as the afternoon progressed! My old dad was utterly smitten by the entertainment! Fair cheered him up!

Shadrach himself was overcome by emotion that people here could be so kind as to help him get his kids back!

And in the end, the showers didn't matter one little bit!

Yep! Found this on Mad Priest's Blog, and I couldn't keep my hands off it! ....

One evening, a woman arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished! It turns out that her husband had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.

"We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."

"But what about afterwards?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that was perfect too. Ralph was too tired..."

Actually, in the midst of financial mayhem, (more hassle for the RW today with the Royal Bank), we do have little blessings to entertain us! Having two dogs, Toastie who is 4, and Peanut 8 months, and a kitten too can provide a certain level of entertainment if you don't mind mayhem breaking loose from time to time!

The kitten chases the puppy and is actually a "silent assasin", the dog looks bored, and it's like Animal Farm here at times.

However, old Toastie is looking brighter today! Peanut is obviously just going into season for the first time, and you can almost see the old man licking his lips in anticipation. Tough pal! He's getting farmed out soon to oor Maggie when she gets home her holidays to keep temptation out of the way. Peanut was bought to breed, but she's a bitty young to be a mum yet, and we'll wait until the second season before we let poor Toast get his evil way with her!

It's all going to be total hell here soon, but at least it will be a nice hell! Animals are uncomplicated, and are icons of total Christian unconditional love and forgiveness. And they have nothing whatsoever to do with call centres in India!

A friend asks... "For Henley one presumes?"

When my father moved to Dumbarton, I faithfully filled in all the forms for him to obtain Housing Benefit. I needed to hand in lots of stuff, original copies, of things like passport, bank statements, benefit entitlements, etc etc. Rather than send these things off by post, I took them to the office in Clydebank myself, and waited in a queue for about an hour. Someone took it all from me, faithfully copied all the documents and returned them to me.

Three weeks ago, West Dunbartonshire Council wrote to him, asking for all the docum,entation, passport, bank statements etc etc. So, I phoned them, they apologised, and said that they indeed had the documentation copied.

Today, another letter to daddio, threatening this time, saying that if they didn't get this documentation within 14 days he would lose his benefits! So, one confused 82 year old was nearly in tears by the time I caught up with him today.

So, on the phone again to WDC who tell me that this letter, the threatening one, had been sent out in error! Wow! Now, my dad at least has me and other family to take care of these things, but what about the old biddies who have nobody? I wonder how they cope with threats being sent out in error?

Not even an apology this time, but I trust that West Dunbartonshire will now get their act together? At least I didn't have to phone India! That would really have been the end!

Those following my misfortunes of late will remember that after a bad car accident on June 23rd my car was written off by Norwich Union. It was a leased car, leased through Hitachi Capital. By the 3rd July a settlement figure had been discussed and both Norwich Union and Hitachi Capital told me that all was well and that they would settle between themselves. No problem, Revd Macaulay.

Imagine my surprise, then when last week another £210 was taken from my bank account by Hitachi Capital! Hey! Why am I paying for a car that both companies know is written off? In my naivety, I thought that it was OK, and that, as I had to pay an excess of £220 anyway, I would just have to send off £10 to Hitachi one day soon and that would be that!

Wrong!

Hitachi Capital tell me that Norwich Union haven't been in touch with them and my account is still live. They want another £210 soon as, they tell me that as far as they are concerned, the account is still live and will continue to be live until Norwich Union settle with them.

Hey Ho! So off to Disneyland again, now my favourite term for Norwich Union Customer Service in India! Oh! The problem belongs to Hitachi because they haven't asked for a settlement figure. I got no sense whatsoever from a poor Indian man who obviously had problems with my Scottish accent. I certainly had problems with his thick Indian accent!

Bottom line folks is that I've lost £210 this month, and will continue to lose £210 every month until these two brave companies get their act together.

Wonderful banter, however in the midst of a conversation with Hitachi, when I enquired if the man I was speaking to could afford people just coming in and taking £210 out of his account very month? He replied that he was in no position to discuss his personal financial status with me! Lovely! I just love it when you get empathy! Cheers mate!

So, until Norwich Union settle this I have to keep paying a lease agreement monthly or go into default with all the hassle that brings with credit agencies.

Three cheers for great British Institutions living, or hiding behind, call centres in India. God help us all.

Pictures of the flooding in England have made me feel a little bit guilty, (smug actually), as we've experienced the best days of summer yet in the West of Scotland. The back garden is a beautiful suntrap for that half an hour break for coffee or whatever.

In Glasgow and its environs we are quite used to getting wet, and rain is the norm, even in summer, so the misery of "down south" is maybe not properly appreciated.

The sun has done me wonders though! coming through another bout of real depression over the past week or so, I feel lighter, easier, and maybe a wee bit more receptive to the God of my Understanding.

My prayers are with the drookit souls in flooded houses who have lost so much. Not everyone can afford to be insured, and it's those people I feel for. No doubt the rain will be back here tomorrow, but meanwhile I bask in the glorious sunshine that I failed to get this spring in the Costa Brava!

Today, we blog a pic of our King-in-Waiting without comment!

Having to drive to Perth yesterday was a pretty "hairy" experience. To travel again on the roads where I had my accident had me on panic and nervous tension time for most of the journey, and my stomach churned for most of the day! I can only hope that feeling goes away and I can begin to enjoy driving again.... soon!!

Came home to the news that father had managed to take two days worth of pills in one day, again, and is blaming the Dumbarton air for making him sleepy. At the moment, all I can think about is the probability that I'll need to keep his pills and go down with them three times daily.

In my head, tis not the brightest of mornings!

I know it's mid-life crisis, but it is a beauty and it yearns for an open road. A bit like my puppy , "Peanut", who always wants to run forever!

Happy? Delerious! However, psychologists may ask why I bought a Type R after spinning off a road! Vroom vroom!

The RW anmd I continue in our task of making father feel at home in Dumbarton. I woke him at 11.45 today, though I knew he had been up earlier. (the blinds you see!) Oh! It must be the pills which are making me sleepy, until it was pointed out that he hadn't taken any pills today - yet! So, "You must have mixed my pills up", didn't wash this morning!

However, I was nice, quiet, and understanding and escorted him down for a lunch he would never have eaten in his last place. Yes, the move is good for him, but a bit stressful for me. I would imagine my first 17 years were pretty stressful for him!

So, c'mon you parent carers! Any tips?

Taking the responsibility of a mother or father as they get older is not an easy task. I'm tired, a wee bit stressed, and needing time for myself when father phones yesterday afternoon to say he's not well.

This is the culmination of a weekend which has seen me move furniture for him, yet again, sort out his shower, and deal with the crisis of him taking his bedtime pills at breakfast. Two doctors appointments and all the rest, and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. I lost the plot with an 82 year old last night when he accused me of trying to mix up his pills on purpose and it was all my fault that he now has Sky which he can't work, despite the fact he has moaned for three years about not getting Sky TV.

How can you lose the plot with an 82 year-old, who is beginning to verge on dementia? Easy, but really unforgivable. I made my peace today. I hope.

Today, the soul is better and has managed to visit the Masonic Club for a wee dram before lunchtime. I'm glad he's found the Masonic, a wee bar next door to the complex which has lots of old-timers who sit all day and tell each other lies and tall stories! He's even rediscovered his handshake but I care not a jot! This is company for him and a new and better life. Three out of the last seven visits I've made, he's been out!

The local pharmacist is brilliant, Kemps Chemist, and he'll sort out all the medication in boxes, being aware that he maybe takes some stuff at the wrong time of day.

I am just feeling so guilty and sad that the plot was lost. It helps nobody when reaction gets angry. Today I've been better. Tomorrow I'll be fine. By next week I'll be aiming for a new diploma in handling elderly parents!

One of the "biggies" is that I know it could and one day will be me!

Meanwhile, the new wheels arrived last night! Vroom Vroom!

Well, today I did it! I have always wanted to drive a Type R Civic. From afar I would admire their owners! So, today I bought one! Not a new one, of cousre, but she is very very beautiful! I'm in love, again!

A well received phone call from a lad in Norwich Union today, thanks to Becca! (See previous posts) The upshot is that the Jazz is dead, unrepairable, (which I thought, but you never know), so now I have to set about getting myself some new wheels! Watch this space!

Watched an episode tonight where evolution and creationism was the subject! Hmmmm

However, the best part was the Revd Lovejoy bewailing the fact that they were losing people in their congregation! "Ever since the Episcopalians installed the vibrating pews!"

I can see what the ABofC may have a point!

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury described by critics as the well-meaning but ineffectual head of a dysfunctional family, has turned to the world's best-known dysfunctional family in an attempt to teach children about theology and boost congregations.

Rowan Williams has compared himself to Homer Simpson in the past

The Church of England believes that the beer-drinking Homer Simpson and his street-wise son, Bart, have addressed religious issues in a way that makes them interesting to teenagers who would normally be bored by long sermons from the vicar.

And here I was just thinking it was only a really funny cartoon show!

The Norwich Union assessor didn't turn up yesterday, so still no decision about the car! Getting to the stage where I really need to know! Have I to psyche myself up to drive the Jazz again, or can I start looking at glossy brochures for the new Civic?

I rarely smile at adversity, but it was noted yesterday that one of the overhead gantries on the motorway approaching Glasgow Airport was, "Check your fuel"! How insensitive, but that's Strathclyde Polis for you!

Taking father to get his bowls from his Bowling Club locker today! We'll maybe get him playing again now he's in Dumbarton! Then the tall tales will all begin again and he'll fall out with half the population, but hey! That's what having dads around is all about!

Ok! Ok! I know it was only a car, and although a well loved one, seemed to be terminally ill when I left it on its side in a field a week past Saturday. However, now the insurance assessor will make a decision today whether to write it off, or just try to fix it.

Mixed feelings about this! I don't know if I want my "beloved" repaired. I'm a bit iffy about driving it again.

How do people in Blogland feel about getting behind the wheel again of a car that has been severely damaged? Am I the only one who would have reservations?

It's almost like the decision will be made today on whether to turn the life-support machine off! I hope they do!

A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. The mother turned around to do some work.

A while later she heard meowing and scratching on the door. She went
to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the
window and said, "Johnny, stop that! You'll drown those kittens."

Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his
voice: "They should have thought about that before they joined MY
church."

Now, does this remind you of a parish you might know somewhere?