Rector's Ramblings

One of my number, just back from South Africa, assures me faithfully that Marks & Spencer in South Africa is actually named "Woolworths". I have no reason to doubt her. This interesting piece came up in MadPriest's blog today:

I see that "The Daily Mail" (a Tory newspaper) is claiming that it has got Marks & Sparks to charge 5 pence for their plastic carrier bags as some sort of environmental awareness campaign.

The RW is off to London today to visit her son for the weekend.... clever eh? Mothering Sunday and all that! This leaves me and the dogs and the SA to get up to all sorts, like watching TV stuff she doesn't like, breaking the washing machine/dishwasher and other girlie things I know nothing about, and sleeping instead of looking alert and interested all the time!

Now, does the cat prefer tuna or chicken?

Well, I'm expecting a glut of folk wanting to arrange their marriages after today, with all these unmarried "lassies" in the congregation biting the bullet and asking that special male of their dreams to do the business! There are far too many unattached "lassies"! This leap year stuff can be an an opportunity, an answer to prayer, or a Lenten penance for many!

At the Study Group last week we had a long conversation about speaking in tongues. I'm grateful to ASBO Jesus, another blogger, who can help us out with this gem.

I'm also grateful to MadPriest for the following, (click here), although this should not be viewed by royalists or those easily offended!

Press Release today.....

250,000 Scottish smokers plan to quit on No Smoking Day

250,000 smokers across Scotland plan to kick the habit next week on the No
Smoking Day almost two years since the smoking ban.

This year’s campaign, the 25th annual No Smoking Day, takes place on
Wednesday 12 March, with millions of smokers across the UK signing up for
The Great No Smoking Day Challenge.

Aye, and I'll be nine days ahead of them!

Well, today, I attended my first Smoking Cessation Class! They reckoned I'd be ready to stop in around three weeks. I said, "NO, I'm stopping on Monday 3rd March!" So, now armed to the teeth with patches and micropills, I'm all ready to go! In fact, walking out of the Health Centre I got the urge to stop there and then. However, I'll stick to my plan and see how we go!

Lots of wonder drugs on offer, but I decided to go with patches and see! I got them on prescription, but the other stuff had to be paid for in full, about £18 per box too!

However, I've not been enjoying my fags since this morning! A good omen?

Carbon Monoxide level in my blood was at a count of 35. Normal people have about 2 or 3! Even the guy who was wheezing next to me only had a reading of 17!

So.... we're all set for Monday!

Drug addicts who turn down the offer of advice on how to kick their habit will have their benefits cut under new plans unveiled by Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. What a wonderful idea!

Firstly, Ms Smith, when are you going to give those who work in the addiction field the resources they need to even begin to scratch the surface? When are there going to be enough places in Treatment Centres to cope with the numbers who are trying to get help today, never mind in the future? Will we just keep them all on methadone for a lifetime instead? It's much cheaper, as you know, Jacqui!

Anyway, forget these little problems. Let's cut their benefits instead. Even my dogs know that this will lead to more crime to feed the habit, more convictions, more court time, more prison sentences etc etc. Who will pay for this, Jacqui? I doubt if the cuts in benefits will even touch the Legal Aid bill, far less anything else!

However, Jacqui, I know that it sounds good, and it will win you lots and lots of votes.

God help us all!

The Blessed Robin, one of my number, came along and did all sorts of clever things and wireless connection, and network connections are up and running. As I speak, selected files are downloading on to the new machine, and quite a lot of nonesense will just be left on the "Big Brute" for now! Oh the joys of technology! Mad Priest has reminded me of my priorities, of course. How can the parish run effectively if we cannot be totally up to date and wised up to "new" things like this! Let me at it!

My silence yesterday was not because I was busy with meetings or had a Study Group on, although I was and I did, but because my new toy arrived at last! A laptop with huge huge memory and hard drive, which is destined to be enough to see me into the next decade, no problem! It also has this wireless thingy which I don't have a scooby how to work. Gadgetvicar, come to my rescue! (Actually it told me that the family across the road had a hub that I could connect to, but they shouldn't fear, I wouldn't know how to begin!)

Worse than this, it comes with Office 2007. Now, for someone who has just mastered the basics of Microsoft Word 2003, this is a shock. I can't seem to be able to just write simple documents, never mind save or send them, and Windows Vista is a mystery that eludes my tiny brain somewhat.

Do I have a file transfer cable to transfer stuff and settings from my old computer? Don't know. It keeps asking me these questions in words I do not understand. Theology and theological terms are a doddle compared to this stuff.

And my diary is busy busy! When am I going to find the time to delve into these mysteries and learn the basics?

At least I can connect to the internet! A blessing, maybe.....

Decided to buy myself a new laptop, as a main computer for the house, about 10 times better than the big elephant I work with at present! Wireless capability etc etc. Just what a busy Rector needs. I can e-mail and update the blog in front of the telly, or in the loo or anything, I'm told.

Dell tell me they despatched it on 21st, so where is it? They phoned on Friday saying it would be delivered before 1pm.... couldn't catch which day it said cos it was all on an automated voice.

Is someone playing with my new dream machine as I write?

The delivery van pulled up this morning! Whoopee! Alas, they were only delivering some clergy shirts I ordered 3 weeks ago. What a let down!

I'll need to go and brush up on my boxing on the Wii instead.

Dreadful weather, dreadful match, and despite a decent referee, and getting to play against 10 men for a good 60 minutes, we failed to score. At least the other lot were just as poor, although I wouldn't have grudged them the three points. One hopes that Liam Buchanan will recover from his groin injury soon. Our top scorer is badly missed. Perhaps he'll come to one of our healing services?

Wow! Magazine done, sheets for Sunday done, sermon written, so feel justified in trotting along today to see the next episode of the Partick Thistle Chronicles. We're up against a team, Queen of the South, (very biblical), who have won 5 on the bounce, so no great expectations!

Time for the monthly offering again! Enjoy or criticise... we try our best!

This came my way today, and I thought it worth sharing!

A label from a laptop bag that is made by a small American company for
overseas customers:

And, for the few, here is the translation from the French:

Wash with warm water.
Use mild soap.
Dry flat.
Do not use bleach.
Do not dry in the dryer.
Do not iron.
We are sorry that our President is an idiot.
We did not vote for him.

I've always had a problem in this Rectory with my Study. The way the house is laid out, my sudy, a place where I'm often working, reading, or seeing folk who pop in, is a thoroughfare of epic proportions for dogs, cat and the RW. You would have to go through my study to gain access to the downstairs loo, the back garden, the washing machine and dryer, the freezer etc etc, so it's a busy place! It's also a chilly place in winter, (and often summer too), when the aforementioned pets decide that they want to explore every blade of grass before piddling in the appropriate place!

The decision was made last week to sacrifice a spare bedroom upstairs and move the office there! Oh! Woe of woes! Six and a half years of current parish stuff, books I had forgotten about, files from at least 5 other parishes, and all the rest, have snared me, enraptured me, held me spellbound, and depressed me..... but the "new" office is still a tip, and work has suffered! I'm too busy sorting out the past and trying to be brutal about throwing away what, in honesty, should have been thrown away ages ago!

Meanwhile the March Magazine is beginning to take shape. Watch this space!

Well, actually it's not a Lent Group. Some parish members come round every Tuesday to discuss their faith, as we work through a basic old fashioned Confirmation Course! It's a wonderful experience for me, and I'm humbled by the strength of their faith, their ability to question, and their willingness to learn as much as possible.

Methinks that many of us who were Confirmed, (and ordained!), at an early age, could benefit with going through it all with the "newbies" next time a confirmation course comes along! Or why wait?

This was too much for me not to share! I often do and say very similar things!

Serbia should rally its armed forces, declare Kosovo 'occupied territory' and buy weapons from Russia to reclaim it, the head of the Serb Orthodox Church in Kosovo was quoted on Sunday as saying.

"The statement by the chief of staff, General Zdravko Ponos, that Kosovo will not be defended by the army, is a disgrace. Serbia should buy state of the art weapons from Russia and other countries and call on Russia to send the volunteers and establish a military presence in Serbia. Kosovo was and always will be Serbian," the bishop said.

Wow! The people of Berwick ought to watch out! You never know what the AB of C might be saying next if the Berwick folk declare themselves Scottish rather than English, which seems to be the case!

Meanwhile, despair again for the Balkan people.

Another mouse this morning. Well dead by the time I found it. I thought the idea of having a cat was to get rid of mice, but it seems like the RC wants to populate our dwelling with the darned things!

The Rectory Cat is in full flow at present. Three evenings in a row now, she has brought a "stunned" mouse into our sitting room. It soon disturbs the lethargy of watching Casualty! I think she has found a nest and is picking off the little ones as they make their debuts in the real world. To kill or not to kill, that is the question. The RC certainly doesn't want them dead, but I am loath to be a mouse murderer.

I'm told today that I can look forward to the joy of baby rabbits coming in soon. Now, that would be a moral question too far! Protect the Easter Bunnies I say!

As for the mice....... well what is a compassionate man to do?

Ryan and the Rambling Rector, (see comments on the previous post, "Better than Nothing",) have been having a good go at each other in another blog over the past few days. See http://gadgetvicar.typepad.com/gadgetvicar/2008/02/i-enjoyed-a-pil.html#comments

Good to see that you are now on board Rector's Ramblings, Ryan, and yes, we do accept and even welcome Rangers supporters in this blog! (Half of Dumbarton support Satan's XI anyway)

Maybe we can even have another go at the merits of the Orange Order at some point in the future. However, I'm thinking that the Jags will probably play Hibs rather than yourselves in the forthcoming Quarter Final. That would be good eh?

Partick Thistle Nil managed a creditable 1-1 draw today at East End Fleapit against Dunfermline! Is this the corner being turned? Can we now wallow in a feeling of safety from relegation? Na! But it was a good result! And Roberts and Buchanan, our two top goalscorers must soon be due back from injury! (Hopefully before the possible visit to Castle Grayskull and Satan's XI in the Cup Quarter Final.

Been pretty "down" of late, so visiting my GP today to plan the Cigarette End on March 3rd, and making sure I have all the support systems in place, I mentioned that coming from the Gambian sun into the bleak days of January and February was enough to get anyone down! He reckoned that most of his patients at the moment are suffering from SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

The same GP had a letter printed in The Herald yesterday putting forward the fact that if we provided decent housing, reasonably paid jobs and other measures to tackle the poverty trap, he would certainly be prescribing less antidepressants. He has had an extremely supportive reaction from fellow professionals! Dire housing, joblessness or low pay, coupled with the dreich weather in the West of Scotland does not bode well for many of the folk in the community I minister in. Alcohol consumption, a depressant in its own right, doesn't exactly help either.

Perhaps help is at hand with a beautiful attachment in a recent e-mail......

Am I the only one who is getting completely and utterly bored by what the AB of C said or didn't say? If I have done something wrong, as a priest of the Scottish Episcopal Church, I could be brought to an Ecclesiastical court and the case will be heard and dealt with. So what? Who's complaining about another law in Scotland? In fact there are several cases that could be cited, just like the above!

Just wait until the Lambeth Conference and we get into the gay issue! Boy, are we gonna have fun!?

For those who wish to know what the ABC actually said, the link is below:

http://www.archbishopofcanterbury.org/1575

The target day for giving up draws near, just over two weeks to go! I've managed an appointment with my GP this week, Friday, in the hope that lots of support systems and every sort of help can be put in place before then. Looking at some old "ads" gives me much confidence as I prepare to discuss it all with my GP on Friday!

Partick Thistle Nil go through to the Quarter Finals of the Scottish Cup tonight after a penalty kick decider! Rangers in the Quarters? Bring em on! I'll even have my new glasses by that time!

Having come through the two operations, giving me new lens implants in my eye, it was now time to go to the optician to get new specs. Obviously my prescription has changed radically as a result of the surgery, and it's something I needed to do.

Supporting our "town" optician, rather than the cheap and cheerful alternatives that have sprung up of late offering free sunglasses etc etc, off I went today! Budgeting, I thought, I opted for one of the cheaper frames at £95, but with lenses it all goes up to £295! For a pair of specs that were absolutely necessary? Wow!

So we're eating gruel until the end of the month, but I couldn't help feeling for those who do not have two incomes as we have. Seems to me that I would be more tempted to carry on with old glasses however substandard, than face such a whopping bill for 20/20 vision.

Perhaps the Scottish Parliament could work out some sort of decent subsidy for the lower paid, although I was heartened to be told today that at least my eye test was free! Or is that the old socialist in me rearing its ugly head?

For lovers of Africa....

There's something about taking a Monday as your "day off" that's quite impractical and almost impossible. On Monday the rest of the world begins work for another week, Sunday "happenings" have to followed up on etc etc, but is it any easier to take Tuesday or Thursday or any other day for that matter? A recent conversation with a Church of Scotland minister who is very high profile and seen to be "busy" seemed to come to the conclusion that you take time off "when you can".

In almost 30 years of ministry now, I'm finding it harder and harder to specify a "day off" which is regular. The result is that I tend to take more time off in the week to compensate, but does this rest and refresh in the same way?

Comments from fellow clergy are welcome!

The RW has embarked on a post Christmas/New Year/Gambia diet designed to bring her back to the stick insect she longs to be........

Suggested is another old "ad" which came my way today!

This is an interesting solution, not to be confused with an "ad" in a similar newspaper of the time.....