The dreaded cloud still hangs over me, and a doctor's appointment today resulted in the anti-depressants being upped again. Dreadful feelings of worthlessness, inability to cope with the simplest things, and feelings of failure loom heavily over me. The rational "me" tells me none of this is true, but the depressed "me" tells me that one day soon, everyone will find me out, and I'll be seen as the failure that I obviously am. I wasted so many of my years to alcoholism, and now that particular monkey sits on my shoulder but is controlled at the moment, the little voice in my ear tells me that a drink will take away these feelings. I know it's not true, so worry not, my friends. Today I will not drink!
Doc quite concerned about my outlook and my feelings today, and I have to go back in two weeks time to get "monitored". I've had one or two better days of late, but today, with a few problems rearing up their ugly heads, hasn't helped much, but left me feeling quite powerless and insignificant.
I don't expect many to understand, because I don't really understand myself! Just say a wee prayer for me, (and poor Linda too - the RW gets a lot of grief when I'm like this)!
I understand - and I understand even better what it's like for Linda. My prayers for you both.
And meanwhile: look at the poem on the back cover of the new issue of Inspires. The line layout is new, but you know this poem, and you know who and what lay behind its writing. Read it again when the worthless feelings come, to remind yourself.